For many months, I
would look each day both morning and evening on Craigslist, EBay, The Star and
different pottery sites for a good used wheel. In that time, many have come up
for sale. Each time I was too late, out bid, or for some other reason did not
get it. Each time I would pray and say, "If this is not the wheel for me,
Lord, please make it so." And each time I did not get the wheel, I would
simply thank Him.
The last couple of years I have been feeling lost
spiritually. I knew that God was there, that He loved me and cared for me, that
He knew my name and had plans for me. But, where was He? I had been asking for
light and direction. It seemed He was only giving me barely enough for the
present moment. I wanted to see farther down the road. I have seemed always to
be on edge, almost in a stall pattern. It has been easy to see that He was
sustaining me, just as He did the Israelites in the wilderness, but like them I
wanted more. I had begged and pleaded. Each time, I would just feel an
overwhelming amount of His love and grace, but no direction at all. I wanted a
map.
About three weeks ago, a Brent B wheel came up on
Craigslist. It would be a perfect wheel for me. Brent is my favorite wheel
maker and the "B" is the middle-of-the-road model. The price was
right; the seller lived nearby, and it was not too old. But it was Sunday.
I have been trying to keep the Lord's Day holy. I know that
we each look at that principle differently and I am not judging anyone for his
or her interpretation of what it means to keep the Lord's Day holy. I know
emergencies come up even on Sunday. Here, I reasoned, was an emergency for me.
I knew this wheel would be gone tomorrow. So I called. Apparently, I was the
second to call because she had already accepted a deposit on it. I would have
to wait until Friday it see if the other person came up with the money for it.
Each day I felt worse. I had rationalized calling on Sunday and now felt sorry
about it. By the time Friday came, I had decided that there was no wheel out
there that was worth this feeling. I did not get that wheel.
One day last week, as I was praying on the situation, I
remembered a book I had read by Stormie Omartian. In it she tells of giving
everything to God, then asking Him to sort through it and give back the things
He wants for you. I pondered this for a while. I had given my heart, might,
mind, will, husband, son, family, work, home, vehicle, health, wealth/or lack
of it. What had I not turned over to Him? Then it hit me...my pottery.
So after much
thought, I laid my love of pottery at His feet. I told Him I did not want
anything in my life that would be a distraction from where He was trying to lead
me. No pottery wheel was more important to me than He is. Even pottery itself
was not as important to me as He is. "Lord, do you want me to give it up
altogether to better follow You?" I prayed.
Then, this past Monday morning, I sat down at the computer
and opened up Craigslist. And, you guessed it, there was another Brent wheel.
This time it was a CXC. That is like the Cadillac of wheels. It is professional
wheel, one that would successfully center a piece of pottery six or seven feet
tall. My heart leapt.
Then I looked closely at the ad and realized it had been
posted on the day before... Sunday. I knew that wheel; at that low price and
young age was already gone. But, I stopped and prayed that if God wanted me to
have it that it would be there. I called. It was still available. The seller
asked if we could pick it up in the afternoon and pay with cash only. My
husband, Aaron, and I were scheduled to take our son, Dane, to the airport that
afternoon and I kept thinking is there a way to pick up the wheel and still get
Dane to the airport? Finally, I left that in God's hands, too, and told the
owner that it would be 9:00 pm before we could be there to pick it up.
Now I realized that we wouldn't even have time to go by a
bank to get cash for the wheel and still have time to get Dane to the airport
comfortably. A quick check with my relatives (mother, father, husband, brother
and sister-in-law) and together we had exactly the amount needed... to the
dollar!
On the way back from the airport, my husband asked if I had
been anxious about the wheel, thinking that perhaps the wheel had been sold to
someone else during our delay to pick it up. I told him honestly, it was almost
every thought I had going to and from the airport! But, I also told Him that if
I trusted that God really had provided this wheel for me, it would be in His
hands waiting for me.
We picked up the wheel that evening.
God desires to bless us. He is a loving Heavenly Father.
And, as our pastor's wife, Donna Billings, so often prays, God blessed me with
that which was "better than best."
He didn't just give me a middle-of-the-road wheel. He gave
me a CXC for virtually the same price as the Brent B wheel had been. He didn't
just hint at my question of whether or not pottery was part of His plan for me,
He answered it in such a way that there will never be any doubt in my mind.
How great is our God?
Wherefore, seek not the things of this world; but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:38
Wherefore, seek not the things of this world; but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:38